hopes and dreams to reality

if you tell enough people about your dreams,
if you think of them often enough,
if you work at them hard enough,
if you believe in its probability deeply enough,
then the world will conspire to work in your favor.

i am seeing this time and time again, and it is wild.

go 90%, and the world will give you the 10% luck.

semi-annual review: 2019 so far

i have poked and prodded, and now they are all out. the repetitive, unnecessary thought patterns are flushed from my system (for the most part), and i am mentally and emotionally cleansed. the people who are meant to be in my life are here, along for the ride. now it is time to embark on a new journey.

it is june now. half of 2019 is nearly complete. i am both excitedly and anxiously forecasting what is going to happen from now until 2020. life is moving incredibly fast. i’ve become stable enough to not only catch up but also think more proactively about what’s to come. the key lessons that i’ve learned this year so far are as follows:

  • you control how people view you and treat you.
  • if you want something, speak up. if you don’t want something, also speak up.
  • high risk, high reward.
  • most times, there will be another chance. don’t think, decide, or act out of scarcity.
  • noise is everywhere. noisy environments, noisy content, noisy people. constantly reflect, filter, and nurture to get to the good stuff.
  • scheduling regular time to yourself is non-negotiable for a healthy mind.
  • convince your mind of who you are and your capabilities by doing. do consistently.
  • the universe doesn’t say “no”. it says “yes, but wait. i have something better”.

one year ago, i was only entertaining the idea of leaving my startup job and moving to the Bay. one year later, i’m here with a new job, new lifestyle, new social circles, new interests / ideas / habits / dreams, etc.

2019 habits
key habits of 2019

i have big dreams, and i always have. from june to december, i am focusing my time on my next career move. i plan on moving into design, particularly towards a product or interaction design role in a tech company. my headspace is scattered as i am gathering the details of what spaces i want to occupy, what problems i want to solve, what education i need to gain, and who i should bounce ideas with. i am also dedicating time to learning French to give myself geographical flexibility (potentially move to the country of my dreams). this is a multi-year plan. the age stamp i decided on is 27, but it will be achieved sooner rather than later. i am also trying my best to smell the roses and stay grounded in this affluent, cosmopolitan reality of San Francisco.

at the beginning of this year, i created a “vision of myself at the end of 2019”.

2019 vision.jpg

i can confidently say that i have nailed a couple of these items, however there is still a lot of work to do (understatement). i’ve become better at taking matters one step at a time. old caroline would overwhelm herself and drown in an endless to-do list. new caroline is more efficient and can separate herself when her sanity is at stake.

points of focus this month: deep dive into creating a roadmap to a career in design, read more regularly, and plan for my upcoming trip to Paris.

let’s make the next six months as eventful as the last. let’s make it exponential.

cheers to growth.

Filter through the noise

There is so much noise in the world.

Noise from people, from buildings, from institutions, from society, from air conditioning vents. Noise from those you trust, from your parents, from people you love and people who love you. So much noise from books, movies, media, news, and even pictures.

There is noise from egos trying to prove points, from those wanting you to conform, from kindred hearts that care but act in their own self interest because what else would they do? After all, they’re…we’re human, right?

I’m at a breaking point. I’m tired of the bull. I’m tired of conventions. I’m over listening to the should’s, will’s, didn’t’s, and most particularly the I-want’s. Who cares.

What I care about is this:

Show me where the wisdom is.
Show me what raw authenticity looks like.
Show the world what makes you human.

Everything else is irrelevant, unnecessary, and simply Noise.

Solution: Recognize and filter accordingly.

When you decide your life is your own

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey, and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
– Bob Moawad

When you choose to uphold your independence, you begin to live a different life. You begin to feel more powerful as you make decisions on your behalf for your own welfare. You enjoy your own presence, look forward to alone time, and possibly prefer it most nights. You do whatever you want without supervision and craft your own life.

Independence includes externally from parents, partners, and toxic relationships. It also means internally from your inner demons.

Once you own your worth, you become free to live to the fullest at the highest frequency.

Only you can fully understand you

Only you can fully understand you.

There is simultaneous melancholy and joy in this statement.

Melancholy because you will never be entirely understood. No one will know all parts of you. Even if you try to expose someone to the various facets of your life, only you will fully experience the life you live. On that vein, expecting someone else to fully understand you is ludicrous.

But there is also great joy in knowing that you are your own. Joy in the sense that you have complete independence. You are the owner, the driver, and the purveyor of your own happiness. Hold this with a sense of pride.

Art is letting out your inner child

Art is not meant to be filtered, unless you’re editing.
However, many people don’t get that far.
Their inner critic hinders their creativity so they don’t create at all.

When I create, I think of a quote by Ernest Hemingway.

Write drunk. Edit sober.

Tapping into your creativity is you allowing yourself to be a child again, allow yourself to play and throw colors on the canvas. Children often don’t have a filter. They are simply free to be.

Allow yourself to be that child. Worry about filtering when it’s time to clean and polish.