Mistakes take us to the next level. They teach us what we should and should not do. They help us refine our strategies and do better the next time around.
When mistakes arise, forgive yourself. If you are establishing a habit and you miss a day or two, accept the loss, acknowledge it, and refine your strategy so it doesn’t happen again.
Dare to fail. There is a lesson in every failure.
Fail fast, learn faster.
The only rule to follow when it comes to mistakes is:
Don’t make the same mistake twice.
Your job is to fix yourself, to create yourself, to craft yourself into the best version of yourself. It’s not your job to fix other people, especially if they do not want to be “fixed”.
Anxiety is a natural part of life. It is a frequent feeling that occurs when fear creeps into our minds. Whether that fear is rational or not is insignificant to the imminent terror that fills our bodies with tense muscles and haunting thoughts.
Our reactions toward this overwhelming feeling is the key to success as you cannot escape its omnipresence. It’s imperative to have a system in place, so you can mitigate the risks and salvage your sanity when complications arise.
When anxiety fills my mind, I write. I write to capture my ricocheting thoughts onto a page where I can decipher them into a practical solution. I make checklists. I create plans in my head and do what I can the night before the event. There were recent situations when these tactics did not help soothe my mind, so I turned to regularly calling my friend Wally to sort things out (as they say, “good friends are cheaper than a therapist”).
How do you deal with anxiety? Do you talk to others? Do you create a check-list? Do you indulge in your vices? Does your system work? If not, how can you tweak your system so minimizes your anxiousness when your emotions take over?
Within my friends groups, I’m notorious for getting into crazy situations. The reason is, I am a yas woman. If I get into a situation where I must choose to stay or go, I choose go as much as possible (that is, if my intuition tells me I am not in danger).
Saying yes has led to stand-up paddle boarding in the San Francisco Bay, cooking delicious meals with a stranger, grabbing dessert with a “boss ass bitch”, endless nights of dancing, multiple concerts, tours at amazing companies, unbelievable sunset views, and so much more.
Today’s example: I was running through Lake Merritt after my MLK volunteer event and ran into Anthony and his old coworker Nathan. Ant invited me to eat pho for dinner later that night. I gladly accepted the invitation. After dinner, the three of us went to (my first) comedy event at a bar I’ve been meaning to try. I laughed for two hours straight. The lineup was stellar, and the venue was extremely hip. Now, I am exhausted and do not want to talk to anyone, but I am so happy I went. I will definitely come back for Monday night comedy.
Say yes, because why not.
Many of my most memorable moments stemmed from moments of spontaneity.
How could it not when you’re open to what the world has to offer?
I once told my friend that “Wrong turns make great stories.”
She responded, “If you live to tell the tale.”
There is great value in doing the thing you’ve always wanted to do, in exploring your curiosities, in taking risks and leaps. It makes you that much more interesting.
It’s heart-wrenching, how one song can transport you back to the moment of great euphoria or pain. How a song can make you feel so alive or so alone. The power that music has in triggering memories is instantaneous. It makes you realize that both pain and pleasure are pervasive as long as you’re aware enough to see it.
It’s how you deal with it that defines who you are.
As an American, you are part of the global 1%. You have your basic necessities of food, water, shelter, warmth, and then some. When you see the world through that perspective, you realize that you have it good, though you may consider yourself “broke”. “Broke” mentality prevents many of us from giving back to those in need or treating your friends or getting your parents gifts. How long do we have to wait until we can start giving back? What income bracket do we have to reach? Or can we start doing it right now?
My father has this lesson I like to call “The Hundred Dollar Idea”. He encourages me to be generous to our loved ones when we can, especially when they have treated us well. He says,
When people treat you right, treat them right. Don’t worry too much about the money. A hundred dollars won’t make you richer or poorer.
Of course there are situations when a hundred dollars do make a significant difference and one hundred is an arbitrary number. However, this idea makes an important point when it comes to maintaining relationships and contributing to society.
Buy a bagel for a homeless person. Volunteer a few hours to a local non-profit. Surprise your friends and pay for the bill. Send a card or letter back home.
Being generous does not require large amounts of money, as giving time, thought, and energy are other ways of providing value.