Passion gives life life

When I have free time, I spend it feasting my eyes on food. Food documentaries, food shows, food Youtube videos. Today I watched a food movie starring Bradley Cooper called Burnt (highly recommended).

The reason is, I am deeply in love with chefs.

Chefs have a passion that goes beyond the need for comfort or stability. In order to be a chef, you have to put in copious amounts of work for a glimmer of hope that you will become Someone or cook in the kitchen of a world-renowned chef. Chefs get paid minimum wage for decades, working almost double (or triple) time compared to 9-to-5 employees, standing on their feet all day, only to be abusively screamed and tormented for the tiniest mistakes.

Does this turn some away from the culinary world? Probably. That’s where the feeble or disconcerted get weeded out. Only the most resilient, most hungry, most passionate, and possibly most arrogant chefs persevere and rise to stardom. (After all, don’t you need arrogance to curse off the critics?) It’s only then, after such grueling experiences, when chefs reap the rewards, make money, earn awards, and now – thanks to Netflix – become rockstars.

The very nature of the industry is cut-throat competitive and driven by passion; and that is what makes it so alluring.

People love the eager, the enthusiastic, the fervent, and the remarkable.

Psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel talks about this idea in her TED talk. For her book Mating in Captivity, she asks people, “When do you find yourself most drawn to your partner? Not attracted sexually, per se, but most drawn.”

The first group responds: “when she is away, when we are apart, when we reunite”

I’m more interested in the second group’s response:

“[…] when I see him in the studio, when she is onstage, when he is in his element, when she’s doing something she’s passionate about, when I see him at a party and other people are really drawn to him, when I see her hold court. Basically, when I look at my partner radiant and confident. Probably the biggest turn-on across the board. Radiant, as in self-sustaining.”

If you want to boost your attraction, feed your passion.

People naturally gravitate towards those who love what they do, as they are full of life.

Passion gives life life.

Work hard, work smart

If you are like me, you push yourself to be better every day. The idea of “1% better” is what you strive for when you go about our day. You think about your processes and try to learn new tactics to make sure you’re operating to your maximum potential.

Learn, refine, experiment, and refine again.

Improvement is a reiterative process in efforts to be more efficient and effective the next time around. Part of optimizing your tactics requires you to considering your limitations.

This can include your weaknesses, blind spots, and your basic human needs. Strategizing without factoring in these details is counterproductive.

“One of the greatest indicators of our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others.” – David A. Bednar

Know yourself, know your needs and weaknesses, and plan accordingly. If you do not, your needs and weaknesses will negatively impact your process in one form or another. For example, our basic human needs include sleeping, eating, and hydrating ourselves. If you decide to advance full power into your daily routines without satisfying these core needs, you will run out of steam and add detriment your body.

Work hard, but work smart.

Change begins within

Think sad thoughts and you will become sad. Think happy thoughts and you will be happy. Smile and you will feel elated. Place your hands on your hips and you will feel powerful. Repeat to yourself that you are handsome and you will soon believe it. Tell yourself that you can do anything, and your body will mobilize to make it happen.

The mind-body connection is powerful. We can fool ourselves into becoming our ideal selves by allowing our bodies or minds to take the lead. If we can harness this connection, we can achieve our ultimate desires.

Whether you begin with the mental or somatic pathway is besides the point.

The point is, change begins within.

Feed your mind

“Miss a meal if you have to, but don’t miss a book.” – Jim Rohn

Read a book.
Watch a documentary.
Talk to a stranger.
Travel to another country in real life,
Or scour the globe via Google Earth.
Wander a new space.
Research an interesting topic.
Fall down an internet rabbit hole.
Visit a museum.
Listen to your grandparents’ stories.
Explore a new route.
Experiment with a new recipe.

Follow your curiosities.
Expand your worldview.
Invite your friends to join you.

It will make you that much more interesting.

Call your loved ones

As we grow older and more preoccupied with our own lives, it becomes more difficult to spend time with our loved ones. How paradoxical. Technology makes it easier than ever to connect with others, yet there is a disconnect in the quality of our connections.

What are the effects? We lose feelings of belongingness and forget how loved we are.

What would the world look like if every person felt loved? I’m assuming it would look like this. More kids would know that someone believe in them, making them feel more free to explore and speak their minds. More parents would be armed from a loss of purpose when their children leave the nest. More outcasts would be less inclined to perform heinous acts in search for attention. There would be more empathy, understanding, and joy; and less hate, discrimination, and injustice.

Create positive ripple effects.

Start by calling your loved ones. Text someone you haven’t spoke to in a while. Volunteer at your local community center. Smile to the strangers you walk past. Make eye contact and listen when people speak.

I myself am trying to call my parents at least once a week. How odd is it that I talk to my parents more now, after I moved out, than when we lived under the same roof. You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. The happiness they show every FaceTime makes my heart sing.

Tell people you love them. Show people why you’re grateful for them.

Doesn’t matter if you do this once a month, once a week, or every day.

Just start.

Releasing bad habits, social media addiction

My worst bad habit: Overusing Instagram.

Instagram is the bane of my existence. I delete and reinstall the app more times than I like to admit.

In 2018, I tried to remediate my addiction by opting out every other month. One day I’m posting like mad and I’m gone the next (The password changed by a loved one because my self control is nonexistent). When I detox, especially after the first week, I experience several the positive benefits: better focus, calmer and positive mind, closer connections with my loved ones, etc. However, when I reinstall the next month, my itch to scroll and all the negative effects that come with it return. Of course.

It will be 2019 tomorrow, and I ask myself again, why do I use Instagram? 1) I use Stories to practice take photos, 2) to show people what I’m working on, and 3) to see what my favorite people are doing. Since my detox was in November, I’m opting from Instagram this January, however I am wondering if I can forgo using it the entire year. Maybe I can start taking photos on an actual camera or simply save them on my phone. Maybe I can savor showing people my work until after it’s done. Maybe I can regularly text my loved ones to see how they’re doing.

I read this quote yesterday in Tony Robbin’s Unlimited Power:

“If you can find enough reasons to do something, you can get yourself to do anything.”

If I say no to Instagram, what do I say yes to?

  • Yes to better focus on my goals
  • Yes to a healthier headspace, both calmer and more positive
  • Yes to more time to do what is most important
  • Yes to better connections with my loved ones
  • Yes to being more present, living for today
  • Yes to nurturing my creative passions
  • Yes to thinking space

I challenge you to think about your goals and list all the reasons why you want to achieve it. Think long and hard, create an action plan, and motivate yourself to succeed.

We need more commitment and less complaining.

“Reasons are the difference between being interested versus being committed to accomplish something. […] Why you do something is much more important than how to do it. If you get a big-enough why, you can always figure out the how. If you have enough reasons, you can do virtually anything in this world.” – Tony Robbins