you know you’re in a funk when multiple people ask you if you are okay. that was my experience this week. i’m physically okay, but mentally am “in a funk”. i’ve concluded that it is due to the uncertainty i have of my next steps in my career.
in my semi-annual review, i described my journey this year: from startup to jobless to working in a cafe to moving and landing a new job in a corporate office. i’m very much ready for a new challenge and am in the process of defining what that is.
these funks, or as i like to call them “refractory periods”, are filled with ample time alone to think deeply and synthesize a plan of action. though with melancholy undertones, my refractory periods also consist of acknowledging my fortunes and reliving jubilant memories (often rewatching my old vlogs). i view funks as necessary for taking inventory, strategizing, and preparing for what’s to come – a forced stop to slow down in a fast and ever-changing life.
old caroline would pressure herself to find answers ASAP. new caroline takes things as they come, allows ideas to simmer, and with guiding questions, conjure a conclusion. as a type-A person, letting go of that control of creating definition was a reoccurring but imperative lesson.
i brought a DSLR on my morning commute today in efforts be analog and allow my subconscious to take care of the chaos in my head.
i don’t have answers yet (and will report back when i do), but part of the journey is Mercy (very difficult as a perfectionist).
for all you perfectionists out there, i dare you to learn it with me.
until next time,