Everything can change in a day

Your life can change in a moment for better or for worse.

You hear back from that job. The diagnosis returns. A new law passes. Your loved one is taken away from you. You get be pregnant. The contract gets approved. Your work receives an award. There is a catastrophic car crash. You meet the love of your life.

Anything can happen any moment every day for the rest of our lives.

This statement makes me simultaneously exuberant and melancholy as memories are both spontaneous and fleeting. A beautiful poignancy, if you will.

Our pace of life is controllable to a degree. Whatever is out of our control must be met with patience and grace. Relinquish your control and let the universe take over. Instead, focus on what you can control. Control your reactions. Control how you deal with it.

Treasure the moments. 

Stay up that extra twenty minutes to finish the bedtime story. Push harder in that last mile. Book that flight and experience your dream vacation. Tell them “I love you”. Hug him tighter. Kiss her goodnight.

Life’s transitoriness is inevitable, however it is as much a blessing as it is a curse.

How else are we going be reminded to seize the day?

Change begins within

Think sad thoughts and you will become sad. Think happy thoughts and you will be happy. Smile and you will feel elated. Place your hands on your hips and you will feel powerful. Repeat to yourself that you are handsome and you will soon believe it. Tell yourself that you can do anything, and your body will mobilize to make it happen.

The mind-body connection is powerful. We can fool ourselves into becoming our ideal selves by allowing our bodies or minds to take the lead. If we can harness this connection, we can achieve our ultimate desires.

Whether you begin with the mental or somatic pathway is besides the point.

The point is, change begins within.

Feed your mind

“Miss a meal if you have to, but don’t miss a book.” – Jim Rohn

Read a book.
Watch a documentary.
Talk to a stranger.
Travel to another country in real life,
Or scour the globe via Google Earth.
Wander a new space.
Research an interesting topic.
Fall down an internet rabbit hole.
Visit a museum.
Listen to your grandparents’ stories.
Explore a new route.
Experiment with a new recipe.

Follow your curiosities.
Expand your worldview.
Invite your friends to join you.

It will make you that much more interesting.

Forget the mass, impact the special few

There is great satisfaction in impacting others, even if it is one person.

As I am in the midst of building my marketing knowledge, I am learning that it is important to focus on the smallest viable market: the smallest group of people who you choose to serve. The idea is, if you obsessively try to understand and cater to these special few, they will voluntarily spread the word about your product or service as a result of the value they derive from you. This also allows marketers to create a stronger brand, community, and projects that they are proud of.

“The relentless pursuit of mass will make you boring, because mass means average, it means the center of the curve, it requires you to offend no one and satisfy everyone.” – Seth Godin, This is Marketing

I experienced this firsthand earlier today when I received my first blog comment from a stranger. I was surprised to see that he felt strongly enough about blog post, compelling him to leave a comment. This comment was not just any comment but one of great depth and vulnerability. The joy that I received from that one comment reminded me of why I write these blog posts.

By focusing on impacting a special few, you are able to provide value to those who want to hear what you have to say.

“We must begin with a worldview, and invite people who share that worldview to join us. ‘I made this’ is a very different statement than, ‘What do you want?'”

This points back to the old adage, “Quality over quantity.”

In a world that is convoluted by the “more”, focus on the “better”.

Focus on impacting the special few. 

Measures of success

I love reading other people’s annual reviews just as much as I love writing my own. One of my favorite to read is Bill Gates’. This excerpt in particular resonated with me:

Today of course I still assess the quality of my work. But I also ask myself a whole other set of questions about my life. Did I devote enough time to my family? Did I learn enough new things? Did I develop new friendships and deepen old ones? These would have been laughable to me when I was 25, but as I get older, they are much more meaningful.

Melinda has helped broaden my thinking on this point. So has Warren Buffett, who says his measure of success is, “Do the people you care about love you back?” I think that is about as good a metric as you will find.

Our measures are dependent on our age, values, circumstances, and definition of success. It is important to step back every so often to ask, “Do my actions align with my measures?”. Alignment can be achieved by simple adjustments in our focus and strategies.

On another note, I admire how human thinking shifts when we age to focus on the more meaningful, intangible aspects of life. It makes you remember that though we are different in many ways, there also have undeniable commonalities that connect us all.

Have faith, embrace the uncertainty | Note to Self

When you are working towards a goal that doesn’t have clear outcomes, it is easy to believe that your efforts do not matter.

However, whether you are starting a business, searching for a job, or waiting for results for a health test, we must have faith that things will work out.

“Trust who and what you are, and the universe will support you in miraculous ways.” – Alan Cohen

It is a simple mindset, but it can power us to trudge forward regardless of the situation. If you are like me, you often believe that you can will yourself into achieving any goal. However, these unique situations force us to relinquish our control and give ourselves to universe.

“Everything you want is coming. Relax and let the universe pick the timing and the way. You just need to trust what you want is coming, and watch how fast it comes.” – Abraham Hicks

All we can do is try our best, push ourselves to be better, maintain our integrity, and hope that the world will work in our favor.

No matter what happens, you will be alright.

Releasing bad habits, social media addiction

My worst bad habit: Overusing Instagram.

Instagram is the bane of my existence. I delete and reinstall the app more times than I like to admit.

In 2018, I tried to remediate my addiction by opting out every other month. One day I’m posting like mad and I’m gone the next (The password changed by a loved one because my self control is nonexistent). When I detox, especially after the first week, I experience several the positive benefits: better focus, calmer and positive mind, closer connections with my loved ones, etc. However, when I reinstall the next month, my itch to scroll and all the negative effects that come with it return. Of course.

It will be 2019 tomorrow, and I ask myself again, why do I use Instagram? 1) I use Stories to practice take photos, 2) to show people what I’m working on, and 3) to see what my favorite people are doing. Since my detox was in November, I’m opting from Instagram this January, however I am wondering if I can forgo using it the entire year. Maybe I can start taking photos on an actual camera or simply save them on my phone. Maybe I can savor showing people my work until after it’s done. Maybe I can regularly text my loved ones to see how they’re doing.

I read this quote yesterday in Tony Robbin’s Unlimited Power:

“If you can find enough reasons to do something, you can get yourself to do anything.”

If I say no to Instagram, what do I say yes to?

  • Yes to better focus on my goals
  • Yes to a healthier headspace, both calmer and more positive
  • Yes to more time to do what is most important
  • Yes to better connections with my loved ones
  • Yes to being more present, living for today
  • Yes to nurturing my creative passions
  • Yes to thinking space

I challenge you to think about your goals and list all the reasons why you want to achieve it. Think long and hard, create an action plan, and motivate yourself to succeed.

We need more commitment and less complaining.

“Reasons are the difference between being interested versus being committed to accomplish something. […] Why you do something is much more important than how to do it. If you get a big-enough why, you can always figure out the how. If you have enough reasons, you can do virtually anything in this world.” – Tony Robbins