I grew up learning how to do everything on my own. From difficulties in school to applying to college to my first job, I did it all on my own. I had to as there were other people to worry about; I had to help my parents raise my two younger brothers.
I was raised to be fiercely independent but also foolishly arrogant; I believed I could do everything by myself. This self-starter mentality allowed me to succeed for a while when I worked in a startup, until my performance did not meet expectations.
When I was overwhelmed, I insisted on figuring it out on my own instead of asking for help. However, when this led to mistakes at work, I realized that is not efficient nor effective strategy.
It’s okay to ask for help and say “I don’t know”.
There is a fine line between when you should problem-solve on your own and when you should seek input from others. Nonetheless, once you realize that needing the help of others is common and actually a smarter decision in most cases, you don’t feel as powerless but humble in realizing your human limitations.
It takes humility to recognize that you cannot do it all on your own.
I am unlearning my old ways and reframing my false notions. Asking for help does not always take away your power, but more often than not, strengthens your relationships and builds a more sustainable framework for success. For instance, with more people, you have access to a larger pool of knowledge.
No one knows everything and you can learn something from everyone. Your job is to be open and humble enough to see that.
That is maturity.
Your life can change in a moment for better or for worse.
You hear back from that job. The diagnosis returns. A new law passes. Your loved one is taken away from you. You get be pregnant. The contract gets approved. Your work receives an award. There is a catastrophic car crash. You meet the love of your life.
Anything can happen any moment every day for the rest of our lives.
This statement makes me simultaneously exuberant and melancholy as memories are both spontaneous and fleeting. A beautiful poignancy, if you will.
Our pace of life is controllable to a degree. Whatever is out of our control must be met with patience and grace. Relinquish your control and let the universe take over. Instead, focus on what you can control. Control your reactions. Control how you deal with it.
Treasure the moments.
Stay up that extra twenty minutes to finish the bedtime story. Push harder in that last mile. Book that flight and experience your dream vacation. Tell them “I love you”. Hug him tighter. Kiss her goodnight.
Life’s transitoriness is inevitable, however it is as much a blessing as it is a curse.
How else are we going be reminded to seize the day?
When you are working towards a goal that doesn’t have clear outcomes, it is easy to believe that your efforts do not matter.
However, whether you are starting a business, searching for a job, or waiting for results for a health test, we must have faith that things will work out.
“Trust who and what you are, and the universe will support you in miraculous ways.” – Alan Cohen
It is a simple mindset, but it can power us to trudge forward regardless of the situation. If you are like me, you often believe that you can will yourself into achieving any goal. However, these unique situations force us to relinquish our control and give ourselves to universe.
“Everything you want is coming. Relax and let the universe pick the timing and the way. You just need to trust what you want is coming, and watch how fast it comes.” – Abraham Hicks
All we can do is try our best, push ourselves to be better, maintain our integrity, and hope that the world will work in our favor.
No matter what happens, you will be alright.